Planting the Seed of Love

The blind date effect. Familiar with it?  It’s kind of like a runners high, but in the world of dating. Before the run, you dread what is to come. After, you feel amazing as there are endorphins pumping through you. Translating this to a blind date, I was nervous and I desperately wanted to flake. But I did it, and after, I realized that I have not forgotten how to flirt. I am interesting. Plus, there are interesting men out there that I can have fun with. For those that are still raising a skeptical eyebrow, I highly recommend some investigative fieldwork. Don’t take my word for it, try it.

Let me lay it out:

The blind date.

Would this make blind dating easier?

I really do not have a single bad thing to say about dinner with Grant. Past dates with new guys, at times, ventured into uncomfortable territory in those moments where the server is getting drinks or placing the food order. You know, those instances where you and your date are both reduced to staring at a drink menu, or anything else within site to avoid awkwardly looking at each other in silence, begging for a topic of conversation to magically materialize.

The atmosphere of the restaurant we went too was perfect. It was cozy, and the volume was the perfect buzz where I didn’t feel like everyone within a two-table radius was also a part of our date, yet I didn’t have to shout or continually ask Grant to repeat what he said.

So, while we waited a few extra minutes for drinks and refills, it was completely comfortable. The conversation flowed. I learned that Grant has an older brother, he grew up in the suburbs of Chicago but moved to Minneapolis to work for Target as a business analyst, he one time broke his ankle skiing and he minored in Norwegian in college. Overall, fairly standard, safe first-date conversation. Admittedly, it was slightly vanilla, but certainly nothing to complain about. It went well. I am even considering going to dinner with him again.

This date was exactly what I needed. It gave a huge boost of confidence, and made me realize that dating is not so scary. In fact, it’s kind of fun. Grant was a gentleman, he brought me flowers — an unexpected touch of chivalry — he opened the door for me and most important he seemed genuinely interested in the things I had to say. I realized that I am not doomed to flounder in a sea of irresponsible boys or boring men. There are gentlemen that are interesting and are interested in me.

So I’m feeling pretty good. It’s the blind date effect, I swear.

One date down.

Many more to go.

I Was a Late Bloomer

Yes—in college, if a cute boy offered me a shot of cheap liquor that came complimentary with his beer-and-a-shot special, I might have accepted. Fine, I definitely would have accepted. This isn’t a public proclamation that now, after receiving a degree and landing a job, this means I think I am above cheap whiskey. Au contraire, this is a proclamation that while I might still consume cheap whiskey from time to time, I now have standards when it comes to the company in which I consume said whiskey.

I am not this girl anymore!

Basically, I decided that it’s going to take more. I was a late bloomer. So in college, just barely emerging from an eternity of awkward and shedding the last of my lingering high school insecurities, a crooked smile and a shot of whiskey was enough.

Well, I think I have pretty much forgotten the pain of my awkward years and I am certainly not in college anymore. Presently, at the risk of sounding like I am trying to snag a husband and ship out for the suburbs, I would like to find someone a little more mature.

I know what I want now. When did I make this profound and utterly life-changing realization? Okay, dramatics aside, I realized this last night while enjoying a few drinks after work in celebration of Jen’s promotion.

I caught the eye of an attractive gent that I recognized from the office. I went to the bar to order the next round when he casually approach me in a manner only people that know they are attractive (and were never awkward, even in middle school) are apt to do. We exchanged pleasantries, confirmed we worked in the same building and then he offered to buy me a drink. Sure, initial attraction is important—I mean I am human—so I accepted. And it’s flattering when someone expresses interest.

I invited him to join us, what harm could a little networking with a handsome coworker do? Unfortunately, it felt like the conversation was stale before I even got to the bottom of my drink. Mr. Debonair didn’t really have anything to say.  There was more looking than there was talking.

I tried to pick up the conversation, but I got the sense he wasn’t really interested in what I had to say. It’s not like I was talking about inane things like this season’s nail polish trends, that one time I got paper cut or whatever. It was probably something at least mildly interesting, but I felt like he would have been fine if I continued batting my eyelashes, silently. I don’t even know how to articulate the gut feeling I got, but I felt like he was on the prowl and was relying solely on his looks to charm me.

Sorry, buddy. Sure, this could be hasty judgment. I was conscious of this, so I still gave him my business card and maybe I could be interested in another drink. That being said, first impression: lackluster.

I’m not opposed to attraction, but I want more. I need intrigue. I need challenge. I need excitement. Can I find this? Some of my friends are drowning in the deafening tick of their biological clock. I swear that the moment they blew out the candles lighting their 25^th birthday cakes, their eyes glazed over with a highly contagious fever to find a husband and start popping out babies.

Can you hear the “tick tock”?

Okay fine, not quiet that dramatic, but still, I feel like the datable people around me oscillate between looking for The One and pretending that we are still freshmen in college. No, thank you. Right now, I am in my prime. I am a single, educated, capable woman with a healthy level of responsibility. I have my own place, I pay my bills, I go to the dentist every 6 months and I have a dog.

It would be nice to find someone to have fun with that maybe has those things nailed down too. I am looking to stay away from the extremes of too many of my peers—I am decidedly uninterested in occupying my bed with boys that think buying me a shot is enough, but I am also equally uninterested in occupying my womb at the moment.

So I ask: Is this possible? Am I crazy? Am I unrealistic?

I don’t think so, but I am beginning to have my doubts.